“Getting a better understanding of the family situation and providing support where needed is a valuable approach to prevent children from developing similar problems later on.“
In step 2, you try to gain insight into the children’s well-being and how safe they are in their home situation.
Points of attention
- Try to gain insight in the safety and well-being of the children in the family.
- Always consult with other colleagues or an expert to make an initial assessment of the children’s safety and well-being. Labelling a home situation as troubling is a subjective matter. Your own values and norms can colour your judgement.
- Write a note in the client file whenever you have feeling that something is not right about the home situation and why.
What questions can I ask to gain insight into the children's well-being?
- How do you handle taking care of the children when you’re having a bad day? Who takes the children to school or to daycare? Who cooks?
- How do you make sure that you provide adequate care and safety for the children and supervise them properly when you are having a bad day? How do you do that?
- Who can you call if taking care of the children is just too much for a while? What can they do for you and the children?
- What do you think the children notice about your situation? Do you have any idea what your situation means to them? How do they deal with that?
- Are you worried about the children because of your situation?What signs indicate that something is not right?
Scientific literature
There are no set rules in scientific literature on what exactly constitutes good parenting. After all, every parent, every child and every situation is different. There are also no measurement tools that clarify whether parents are adequately supporting their child or not. Counsellors mostly answer this question based on their personal and professional intuition.
Although there are no standards about the right way to parent, there are 2 theoretical frameworks that can serve as a stepping stone to identify children’s safety and determine whether there is a need for additional support.
“The framework for the assessment of children in need and their families” by Gray (2001) describes 20 conditions that are needed to be able to call it good parenting. The theoretical framework divides the 20 conditions into 3 categories:
The developmental needs of the child or young person;
The parenting capacities of the parents;
The broader family and environmental factors.
According to Heiner and Bartels (1989) and Zijlstra (2012), a parent should meet 14 conditions to qualify as “good enough” parenting.
Both frameworks provide guidance to get a good picture of the parenting situation and to assess whether the parenting situation is safe or something is not right. When conditions are deviated from to a large extent, the children’s development and well-being may be at risk.
What questions can I ask to gain insight into the children's well-being?
- How do you handle taking care of the children when you are having a bad day? Who takes the children to school or to daycare? Who cooks?
- How do you make sure that you provide adequate care and safety for the children and supervise them properly when you are having a bad day? How do you do that?
- Who can you call if taking care of the children is just too much for a while? What can they do for you and the children?
- What do you think the children notice about your situation? Do you have any idea what your situation means to them? How do they deal with that?
- Are you worried about the children because of your situation?